Memorial Service for Jay Klinck, May 19, 2012

Karen and I are Jay’s friends from his early years in our hometown of Concord, Massachusetts where
we graduated from high school with Jay in 1963. Our classmates were not able to be here today, but
you can be sure that the hearts of a great many of them are with all of us right now. Although they
couldn’t be here due to other commitments, and in many cases living far away, they wanted to be sure
we express our deep respect and admiration for Jay, and our sorrow on losing his presence. Many have
shared their remembrances and thoughts of Jay with us, so that we could also share them with you.

Some of us remember Jay, even from Junior High School. One classmate remembers many Saturday
movies with Hoagie and Jay. Another (Judi Gibson Dunlap, who was also with Karen and me when we
visited last Jay last October) remembered that her Grandmother, who cooked for, and was very close
to, the Klinck family, referred to Jay a ‘lovely boy’. She also said Jay knew how to get what he wanted
from the kitchen when she was baking and cooking for a dinner party at their home. It was difficult for
her to resist the twinkle in his eye as he tried to sneak a taste of something that was being saved for the
party. She often kept a chocolate chip cookie in her apron pocket for Jay. So, here we can see how Jay’s
formative years were coming along!

Jay never lost that twinkle in his eye, and he had a smile that was brilliant and friendly and mischievous
all at once. He had impeccable manners, and was most always courteous and polite. He was a
perfect host for a number of terrific and fun parties for friends at his home in Concord which we all
remember. Jay came to our high school in our junior year and obviously made quite an impression as
we elected him Class President in our senior year. A glance at our yearbook shows his involvement in
many activities, from assisting the basketball coach to the school newspaper staff. (I didn’t even know
that until looking at it again in preparation for being here today.) I do remember that he showed up
in a minor role in one of our school plays, to everyone’s surprise and delight and laughter. We never
knew what Jay was going to do next and he pretty consistently surprised us. The quote for him in our
yearbook says “It wasn’t my fault, honest…” which probably says a lot! He had an outstanding sense of
humor about almost everything.

And while Jay was so involved, he was not ever part of just one group of students. Especially in high
school when identities are forming, often teenagers don’t feel confident enough to venture out of their
own small circle of friends. Not so for Jay. One classmate remembered how welcoming he was to
students from Carlisle, a small town that had recently merged with Concord High School. She described
Jay as perhaps circling the class from the outside himself, as he befriended so many individuals, from
all backgrounds. As I remember, Jay was a keen observer of people, and while he gravitated to
those perhaps feeling ‘uncomfortable’ in life or in a situation, he also had little tolerance for those
who seemed to him to be pretentious. He had great admiration for those who achieved success and
respect by an alternate route, as he certainly did. He was never afraid to go his own way and be
unconventional, as we were to witness in the amazing years which were to come after 1963.

We have all gone our separate ways over the almost 50 years since then, and except for reunions and
intermittent conversations with Jay (sometimes from faraway places most of us never will travel to) our
contact has often been inconsistent. The internet has allowed us to communicate so much more easily,
and it was very moving that Jay a few years ago emailed his classmates about finding his daughter,
Suzanne, which had clearly meant so much to him. It was special that he shared his excitement and
pleasure with us.

Jay’s illness, as devastating as it was, provided the circumstance for us to be in closer touch with him
again. Some might withdraw and give up in the face of his diagnosis, but he absolutely did not. We
felt honored that Jay joined a gathering of classmates – mainly women I might add – in Concord last
September, and we were absolutely blown away by his description of his unique life and travels. What
an amazing life! It was suggested that he had a book to write, one we all would have loved to read.

We are all sorry to lose Jay, just as we had found him again. But we’re inspired by his courage, and
grateful for the time we had with him to renew our connections. He showed us how to face illness with
dignity, and by allowing us to share his precious remaining time, he gave us a great gift about living. His
passing encourages us to savor every moment with those we love, and to take every advantage of our
limited time here. We gave Jay a picture taken at the September gathering of him with a dozen or so
of his Concord classmates (Babes, as we call ourselves). A picture which made Chris Raker, a fellow
classmate who kept in touch with Jay by phone from California during months of Jay’s illness, very
jealous! Bill told us it was important for Jay to have the picture by his side during his final days, and
we were very moved to hear that. I think we’ll always think of Jay as a good and true friend, and as an
adventurer with a kind heart. Jay was a very unique and special person and we won’t forget him.

written by Sue Bascom Read, Karen Redford Smethurst also attending